Thursday, August 7, 2008

Sad News

I went to the doctor today and I have lost the baby. Last Thursday night I started to spot and have been lightly spotting since (with the exception of Friday when it was a little heavier). I knew even before this that something was wrong, but sort of hoped it was in my head. So today I went and they ordered an ultrasound and the tech (who I happened to go to High School with and was one of Joey's best friends) asked me if I was sure on my dates, I assured her I was and she said that the fetus was measuring a week behind. She said she wanted to go get the doctor to make sure she was right, when she left the room I knew that the baby had stopped growing. When the doctor came into the room he confirmed what I already knew. There was no heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing a little over a week ago. I am sad, but I have had a week to prepare myself for what I already knew to be true. They told me it didn't look like a normal pregnancy so that helps me to know that something was wrong and that I was not supposed to have a baby right now. They told me to just go on my vacation this week and that hopefully I will pass it naturally, but if not when I get back they will do a D&C. In some ways I am torn because I would really like to pass it naturally so I won't have to go through the D&C, but at the same time I don't want to miscarry while I'm on vacation in California. I am trying to stay as positive as I can. I know that I have an amazing little girl whom I love very much. I think if I did not have her and was not blessed to be her mom, that this would be a lot harder for me to deal with. I also keep in mind that there was something wrong, that it was not a normal pregnancy, thats what the tech told me, and that this was not the original time I wanted to try for another. I want to try again in January and Joey already told me he is game for that. I guess this means I can go to Disneyland in December and enjoy it fully. I am sad, but I know that this was God's plan, that this little soul is still up there waiting to come down to us, but now is not the right time for it to do so.

I am still quitting my job though. I know people are going to ask me that. Me quitting my job had very little to do with being pregnant. Joey has asked me to quit since May and I kept putting it off because I did not want to screw Kathy over. She seems to have enough employees right now that it seems like a good time. I am going to stay on until the end of August though, and help her when she needs it. Joey can just make more money if I don't work.

5 comments:

Melissa Mae Johnson said...

I'm so sorry to hear that, Heather. You have a great attitude about it.

Heather said...

thanks melissa.

itsahalesofalife said...

I am so sorry to hear that. How far along were you? You are very strong to have such a great attitude about this.

Heather said...

Danielle, I was 7 1/2 when it happened, but I found out at 8 1/2

Aubrey said...

You guys are in our prayers! We love you and think about you every day!